The last time I seen my brother alive

The last time that I seen my brother alive was the day that I left to move down state to start my new job. I do not remember much but we were in my grandparent's kitchen. Brandon was making himself something to eat. Brandon loved to eat. I remember my dad use to yell at him because he would spend all his money on food (you're probably picturing a fat kid right now, but Brandon was far from fat). If I had known that was my last time seeing him, I would have said and done so much more . That's the thing, I didn't know I would never get to see him alive again.

A few weeks prior to this time though, Brandon had called me to see if I wanted to go stay the night out at our Uncle's cabin on Johnshon's Lake in Eckerman. It was Labor day weekend and it had always been kind of a tradition for some of our family to go camping. When he called to ask me, I didn't even hesitate. Normally, I would have had other things going on or busy with something else. The next morning, I met him and Leah out at my grandparents so that we could go for a night or 2. I had a good time that weekend. I got to spend some time with Brandon and Leah, but mostly with my other family because you know how teens are. I was too old for them to hang out with. We only ended up staying for one night, but I thought that weekend had brought me a little closer to Brandon. I liked his company and hanging out with him. I will never forget that weekend and the time I got to spend with him.  I can always picture Brandon sleeping in my passenger seat on the way home that weekend. I picture him with his dirty dusty swim trunks on. I will always cherish that last time out at Johnson's Lake. This was the first time since I had lived at home where we spent more than a few hours together.I had thought that it was the beginning of us starting to hang out more.

I have become better at making time for my family since Brandon's death. They are the most important thing and you need them as much as they need you. I do not want to look back and regret not spending enough time with them, like I do with Brandon. I always wish that I would have been closer to him and drilled him with questions like I now do with Jenna and James. His death has brought some of my family members closer, its too bad that it took something like this to make that happen.


A picture of us when we were kids out at Johnson's lake; Tara, Me, Brandon, and cousin Dillon