"Over you"

I know I have been seriously neglecting this blog lately, but I have been busy with my last 3 classes until graduation. I also made a spontaneous trip home to the UP this past weekend and got to catch up with family and friends. It was nice.

While I was up there my friend, Tara had mentioned Miranda Lambert's new song "over you" and that it reminded her of our friend Shannon,who passed away over a year ago to a bursting brain aneurysm. I have heard the song many times and liked it but I guess I never really payed much attention to the words until recently. The song was written for Miranda's husband, Blake Shelton, who's brother died in a car accident. Well, I heard this song on my way back downstate Monday morning and cried pretty hard.

This song pretty much puts some of my thoughts about death into perspective. Not death all together, but when a young person dies too soon. It reminds me of my friend and my brother, but has a different meaning for each one of them.

When I hear this song and think of my brother and hear the part "You went away. How dare you?" I think about how he made his own choice to leave us behind.

Then when I think of Shannon I feel sad because I miss her and it was just way too soon for her to go.

Here's the video with the lyrics:

I'm back from being MIA

Sorry I have been MIA for the past few weeks. I've been super busy. I finished up my classes and started my last 3 until I graduate. I also started substitute teaching which happened to have gotten me sick with strep throat all week. Little kids coughing and sneezing on you and passing on their germ is not fun. Not fun at all.


Today my brother has been gone for 2 years and 5 months. Its hard to believe it has been that long but at the same time it seems like a really long 2 years and 5 months. I have been thinking of my brother a lot today because it is a Thursday and it also falls on the 15th this month (he passed away on Thursday, October 15th). On days like today, I feel a little down because I miss him so much. I always try to keep optimistic  when it comes to my thoughts about Brandon, but I still have the days where I feel so sad. Another reason that I have been thinking about my brother a lot lately is because some of the younger boys at school remind me of him.

Like I said in the beginning of this post, I have recently started subbing. I sub for grades k-12. I have only subbed in the High School twice since I started but both times, I have thought of my Brother. Some of the students remind me of him and some make me wonder, are they going through hard times too? You can never tell, but I know how harsh kids can be to each other in High School. Of course it isn't just high school where students are harsh, there can be bullies in all grades. I think that I think of my brother's situation because these students are in the same adolescent age where they have to make big choices about college or different paths, some might have a hard time deciding where they fit in. I have realized that I would definitely love to talk to students about suicide as a preventative measure and I hope that I can help make a difference in their lives one day. When the time is right, I would love to use this blog and my story in the classrooms at schools to help prevent suicide.